This Sucks
by Rainbowmnms
Summary: "You're a weird one," he said with a smirk. Godammit…stop showing me small yet glorious hints of sexiness, Undercover Cop! It's really starting to get to me! The moment that knot appeared in my hair, causing me to inevitably end up on that stranger's lap, that crazy world awaited me. The world of a rock star, (AKA Undercover Cop).
1. My Sucky Morning

Life sucks without humor, so I'm going to give you a joke at the beginning of every chapter. Most of them will suck.

_-Why do dogs suck at dancing?_

_-They have two left feet._

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**This Sucks:**

**The Story of How I Had The Worst Morning of My Life, But It All Turned Out OK.**

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**Summary: **"You're a weird one," he said with a smirk. Godammit…stop showing me small yet glorious hints of sexiness, Undercover Cop! It's really starting to get to me! The moment that knot appeared in my hair, causing me to inevitably end up on that stranger's lap, that crazy world awaited me. The world of a rock star, (AKA Undercover Cop).

**Thoughts: **I sort of feel like Chinese food right now…Hmmm…

**General Info 'Bout **_**This Sucks**_**: **Ok, so this is first person Lucy, AU…just thought I should clear that up ahead of time. So, they don't actually meet in this chapter, but the next one. If you can hang on that long, please do so! I bow to my fans who request NaLu fics…yet again. Oh, oh! I almost forgot! Thanks for clicking on my story!

**Requests: **Send a review my way and I'll give you my thanks by mind beaming to your location and bowing to you. Ok, so I can't do that…but it would be cool if I could, right? Anyway, please R&R! And I hope you stick with this story. It's specially delivered for all NaLu lovers, so give it a shot!

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Reality sucks.

But there's never anything you can do about it.

So, to illuminate things for you, when I was catapulted several feet, due to the sudden stop of the subway, towards the other side of the train…towards _him_, physics—Damn you, physics! Again!—might as well have danced on my grave. Yeah, my grave. I was clearly going to die.

You may ask why, so I will tell you. I will give all of the cruel details of how I thought I was going to meet my end. I suppose I should start from the beginning, yes? I mean, my horrible fate would seem insane, _absolutely and irrevocably mental_, if I didn't explain it. If I didn't explain how I met my supernova, my star. Heck, let's call him _the _supernova. Because he is probably the hottest person I've ever seen.

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**Part I: My Sucky Morning**

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_{Welcome to the Karma Café. There are no menus. You get served what you deserve.}_

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Ok, so we all have them. _All of us! _Don't even try to deny it. Every. Single. Person. Everyone who is reading these words right now has definitely had one. A sucky morning. A morning where it feels like the universe and everything and everyone inside of it is out to get you. Where everything bad that _could _happen, _does _happen. That is _exactly _what I was having that day. The most horrible, endless, unfair, torment-filled…_sucky _morning!

It all started with a knot. It was just a knot. Who cares, right? I could wrestle a knot out of my hair, and that's just what I did. After a few minutes of clenched teeth and wincing, my golden hair was once again straight and soft! I felt triumphant, but, though I didn't know it, that stupid knot had already won the moment I spotted it in my hair.

After _The Battle of the Knot_, (as I have now un-affectionately dubbed it), I went about my morning routine. I got dressed, having already taken a shower, and slipped on my boots. It was spring, so I dressed lightly in a white blouse and short, ruffled, pinkish skirt. I wrapped a sweater around my waste just in case I got cold sometime. I pulled my now-dried hair into a messy bun and stabbed it with a pencil. It was a procedure I was far too used to doing; I blame that on the abundance of pencils at my job and the obvious lack of hair ties in my possession.

I am, as I feel I should mention so that you can further grasp my story, a vet's assistant. Yeah, you read that right. I'm not even a real vet. I hope to be one, but I'm not quite there yet. Well, I get paid enough to keep up with my rent, so it's an ok gig. I'm always writing down numbers and recording measurements. Mira often scolds me for going through so many pencils. Now that you know that, I will proceed with the story of that one, fateful morning. Back to the point!

When I walked outside, I winced as the sun singed my retinas. I've never been overly fond of the sun. I much prefer nighttime, if you ask me. I've always sort of liked the stars, but the sun, though technically a star, has always been too gaudy for me. It's too bright, taking up the whole sky, and drowns out the other stars. That is why I don't like the sun, (not to mention my forgetting my sunglasses up in my apartment).

I like the North Star. Not too bright, not too dull. Just right. As I walked along the canal outside my house, I wished I could see that star up in the sky. I couldn't, though. What I _could _see, when I looked down, was a dog. Was me about to trip on the dog. Was the ground getting closer and closer as I tumbled forward.

I cried out in pain as my uncovered knees, (should have worn pants!), scraped against the pavement. I tried to beat physics by shooting my hands out in front of me, but my victory against physics was never to be. My palms were now also split open painfully.

I sat there for a few moments, trying not to whimper. I was quiet, basking in my own anguish. How had I not seen that coming!? Oh right…I tripped on a dog. Though I love dogs, (or rather animals in general…hence the job), I don't like dogs that trip me and cause me to almost crack my head open on hard pavement. This one just had to show up to brighten up my morning. I stared up at the sky for a moment, asking the universe why it had to do this to me, and then looked back at the dog.

It was small and white, with an orangish patch over its left eye and over his nose like paint splattered on him. If I had to guess, he was a lab mutt. And he was the most adorable little thing you'll ever see. I seriously mean it. Still, I resisted temptation! I turned away and huffed, examining my hands. They weren't that bad, but they still stung and throbbed. I heard his steps as the dog padded over to me. He sat down next to me and leaned close to me. With that, he started gently licking my cuts, his whiskers tickling me a bit. I gasped. It was a-freakin'-dorable!

"Yeah, you feel bad, don't you?" I asked him.

He stared up at me, still licking. "Well, I won't forgive you," I grumbled, pulling myself into a relatively upright position again.

The puppy stared up at me, his wiry yet soft-looking hair shining in the sun, (ugh, the sun). I sighed and walked away. I'd noticed that he didn't have a collar, but he looked healthy and fed so I had to assume that he'd only slipped out of it. I considered taking him to my workplace, but thought better. Mira would definitely be overwhelmed if I brought in a stray dog, and I didn't want to do that to her.

I also considered heading back to my apartment to apply some type of first aid, but I didn't want to be late. I'd never been late before, and I didn't want to let a few cuts and bruises ruin my streak.

And so I took a deep breath and limped on, imagining a parallel universe where all of the ground was made of trampolines and everyone just bounced everywhere. Ok, so I'm a bit…imaginative. Unique, I like to call myself. I've been called weird before, though, and I acknowledge that I'm out of the ordinary. Always have been, too. When I was a little kid, I always loved cowboys more than princesses. Red more than purple. Baseball more than dance class. I'm not sure I'm what you might call a tomboy, but I'm pretty close. I own an X-Box One, a PS3, and a Wii. I hate my Wii with a burning passion and worship my X-Box like a god. Sigh. I told you, I'm not your average gal.

Sometimes I wish a guy would come along who thought that was cool. Sadly, all of the ones that I meet think it's strange. Or they're gay. I've met a lot of gay guys, actually. A lot of the ones that come to the vet have tiny dogs that are overly-puffy and wear little dog clothes. I know this sounds stereotypical, and I don't mean to be, but a majority of those guys are gay. _Granted_, I haven't met a lot of guys. Still, if I had a choice, I would hide the fact that I play Skyrim and Assassins Creed during my free time, (or as much as I can).

So, as I daydreamed about the guy who would come along and not be gay or think I'm weird, I hobbled towards the subway. I was glad that it wasn't too far from my home, but not glad that I had to make the journey on my injured knees while my palms burned.

I had to push my way past a few people, of course leaving behind several courteous apologies in my wake, before I got to the yellow line that warned me not to cross it…or else death. I sighed, glad that I was on time for my train. Just as I started to relax, to soak in the normality of waiting for the train on a Wednesday morning, my shoulder was suddenly jerked to the side. I thought someone had grabbed my arm, but that's _so _not what he grabbed. I watched as the red strap of my purse was yanked away from me. Being that I used to play baseball, I'll brag and say that I have catlike reflexes.

I instantaneously grabbed onto my purse, determined not to let this guy get it. My wallet was in there, which meant my dinner was, too, (well…figuratively, of course. It was currently in the form of money). I wasn't about to let this guy take my dinner from me! Oh, and I also wasn't going to let him get my credit cards, ID, and other various other valuables. Still, he was stronger than me. Plus, my hands were in so much pain that it took all I had not to cry. At this point, everyone was rushing onto the train. Nobody glanced my way. My hands gave up on me, the little traitors. I watched as my purse disappeared into the rivers of people that were rushing past me.

I attempted to chase after the guy, but he was long gone. There was someone who wasn't long gone, though. The freaking idiot of a dog. _Seriously!?_ He was just sitting there, staring at me and whimpering. The little guy had followed me into the subway! I wanted to keep looking for the dude who'd snatched my purse and run away like a little coward, (he seriously deserved my wrath…which is not pretty), but the dog was about to be trampled! I mean, what kind of heartless people just walk over a dog!? I was furious, and I had to come to the dog's defense. I rushed to him immediately and grabbed him, my hands screaming at me to stop, (again…figuratively), and protected him with my own body. I was big enough that people wouldn't trample me, so it was relatively safe.

I clung to the whimpering puppy as people poured into the train cars around me. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting the morning rush out. When I finally opened my eyes, the doors to the train were shutting.

And that, my friends, is the story of how I missed my train. At least I can say it was valiant; I protected a dog, and missed my train.

I watched as the lights disappeared into the darkness of the tunnel and sat down on one of the benches. The puppy jumped up beside me and curled up on my lap. Apparently, he'd decided he liked me. I scratched his head and he nuzzled my fingers. I sighed and hung my head.

And that is how the knot won. By existing. If I hadn't had to wrestle with that knot, I wouldn't have forgotten my sunglasses, wouldn't have been blinded by the sun, wouldn't have tripped on this dog, wouldn't have had my purse stolen, and wouldn't have missed my train…which would inevitably mean I would be late for work, no matter how hard I tried.

"This is seriously the worst morning every," I said to him. He looked up and me and blinked. "This _sucks_."

He whimpered when I set him down next to me. "Sorry, but my lap can't be your throne any longer. The next train's coming soon."

Ok, pause for a second.

Before I tell you what happened in that subway car, which I was stepping into that very moment, I have to give you another fact about myself. I hated physics in high school. It was my least favorite class. I just thought you should know that before you find out what happened to me on that subway train. If you're curious, no; I didn't really have a reason for hating physics class, and I still don't after careful consideration.

Alright. If you're curious as to what happened in that lucky—yes, I have decided my horrible morning was actually lucky—subway car, you'll have to read the next part of my story. It's worth it; trust me, because I'm the one who had the sucky slash lucky morning. Though I thought I was struck by disaster, being flung across that subway car was the best moment of my life. And though the incident may have involved my hyperactive imagination, the outcome didn't. Which is why I was lucky.

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**Read the next chapter if you've gotten this far. It's more than likely worth it.**

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**Next Chapter Preview:**

"Wait! I'm not a drug dealer! I swear! The only thing I smuggle is small dogs! …And sometimes food!"

"Shouldn't you be more concerned by the fact that the guy you were just talking to tried to steal money from you."

"He did?"

"Yes."

"Eh, don't care. My purse was already stolen along with my dignity."


	2. Velocity Sucks

_So then they handcuffed me and said, "Anything you say can and will be held against you…" So I said, "Johnny Depp."_

…Hehe…

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**Thoughts: **I hate Batman. I'm sorry to those who like him, but it creeps me out how he runs around with his spandex underwear on the outside, forcing a little boy to follow him around. "Quick, Robin! Fetch the Shark-Repellant Bat Spray!" (That's an actual quote, by the way)

**Requests: **Send a review my way and I will show my thanks by riding a dolphin to your location and singing a song for you. Ok, so I can't do that either, but it still sounds fun. Maybe not for you, because singing is not my forte. Seriously, R&R to save your ears! By the way, that's not '_Read & Review_,'that's _'Review & Run!_'

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**Part II: Velocity Sucks!**

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_{Once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people will take your breath away.}_

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Remember how that puppy stalked me? Well, he wasn't giving up anytime soon. He actually _followed me onto the train_! I've met a lot of dogs, and not one of them stalked me like this one did. He was a stalker puppy, and I couldn't shake him.

So, when I sat down in the musty subway car on one of the uncomfortable, plastic seats, the dog was right at my feet. I nervously glanced around, knowing that you're not supposed to bring animals onto the subway unless they're in carriers. I caught a few awkward and annoyed looks that'd been shot at me.

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away from the dog. He was starting to get on my nerves. Actually, he'd been on my nerves for a while. Still, he was adorable, so I tolerated his presence. And yet the strangers around me were still giving me angry glances. Crap. They all thought this was my dog.

"This sucks," I muttered yet again under my breath as I bent down and picked up the dog. I feel like that was going to become my motto sometime soon. I pulled him onto my lap, which was strangely easy, and untied my sweater from around my waist. I draped it over him and hid him from sight. I sighed in relief and slumped down in my seat.

When the train pulled up to its next stop, I was momentarily confused. My train didn't usually stop here. That's when I was cruelly reminded: this wasn't my train. Mira wasn't going to be happy. I could only hope that she wouldn't go all Pro-Wrestling on me. That was Mira's dark side. I shivered. I didn't want to think about that at the moment.

I looked up, jerking myself away from those thoughts, to see a rather elderly looking man in front of me. He was gripping onto the bar and looking around the subway car. And that was when the war of morals waged inside of me. I normally always give my seat to elderly, pregnant, or injured people…I'm just that good of a person. This time, though, I was holding a dog. I didn't want anyone to discover aforementioned dog, otherwise he might be taken away. _Grrrr_. Dog or old guy? Dog or old guy?

"Excuse me, Sir. Would you like my seat?" I asked. _Curse you, Lucy! Why must you be so nice!?_

The man smiled, his stately mustache turning up, "Why thank you, Child. You're very kind."

I stood up, hauling the dog with me, (still covered by my sweater, might I add), and let the man sit down. "What's your name?" he asked, looking up at me. His short legs dangled over the edge.

"Lucy," I answered. I didn't really need anyone knowing my last name. They always look at me differently.

"Well, thank you again, Lucy. You're too nice for your own good," he said with a nod.

"You nailed that one on the head," I said with a nod. The puppy squirmed in my arms and I barely caught him. I'm pretty sure the man noticed, but he didn't say anything…just raised an eyebrow.

"My name is Makarov," he said with a grin. Next I knew, we'd pulled up to another stop. Makarov stood and nodded at me. He disappeared into the crowd of people. I tried to seize my seat again, but it was too late. A lady wearing _way _too much makeup had sat herself down in it. Screw rush hour.

I leaned against one of the poles that jutted out of the floor and held the dog tightly against my chest. His nose peeped out and I un-stealthily pulled my sweater back over his little pink sniffer. "Stay in there for a little while longer," I whispered to him. He let out a little whine in reply. "Yeah, well I don't like this either. You're flippin' heavy."

I casually looked around the car once we started moving again. Two more stops until I had to get off. I entertained myself by people watching. I do that a lot when I'm bored and in a public place. I give the strangers around me back stories, purely from my imagination, of course. For example, the man with the fedora and trench coat in the corner is actually a private detective, and he's currently on this train because he's transporting information in that suitcase he's holding. The woman with the makeup and the perm combo who stole my seat, her husband just asked for a divorce. Why? Because he couldn't stand her selfishness and bad sense of style any longer.

The guy with the black hoodie and shades that conceal his face is an undercover cop. He's riding the subway to make sure that no drug deals are going down. The subway is a dangerous place, and so he's come to clear up the streets…the…subway streets, (so those don't exist, but they do now…because this is my imagination). He's been authorized to use deadly force and is packing heat underneath his hoodie. Ok, so I know I just imagined that…but it still made me uneasy.

That was when someone tapped my shoulder. I looked up to see a guy with orangey hair and glasses looking down at me. He looked me up and down, which creeped me out. "Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?"

I stared at him. He stared back. I blinked…and then, I'm not ashamed to say this, I cracked up. The dog squirmed in my arms and I almost dropped him. "Wait, are you serious?"

He grinned, "Only if you are."

"That was really bad, Guy. I don't date players…even ones who are bad at playing," I said and then turned away. He tapped my shoulder.

"My name's Leo," he said.

I nodded, "Good to know. I'll file that one under 'Don't care' with everything else you've said to me." Ok, so that was mean. But seriously…can you blame me? I'd had a bad morning and I was in a bad mood. Not to mention the dog that was indignantly moving around.

"Ouch," he said and then noticed the squirming animal. Well, he only noticed the squirming _sweater_…which he probably, if not definitely, thought was weird. "You look like you're having trouble. Can I help you with that?"

He was pointing to my little bundle of animal, "Um…no." I really didn't need this guy's help. The dog wasn't so heavy that I was about to drop him…probably.

"Are you…sure?" he asked, raising a brow.

"Really, really sure," I replied. I then, for reasons I do not know, glanced over to where the undercover cop was sitting. He was staring at me. Well, he probably was. I couldn't really tell due to the shades, but his head was turned my way. I immediately looked away. Crap! This looked bad, didn't it?

I mean, I don't really know what a drug deal looks like…but this could be interpreted wrong, couldn't it? Jeez. If he arrested me for dealing drugs, I could go to prison. I could get prison-shanked! I could die! Holy crap! I glanced around, suddenly wanting to get off the subway. Wait, we were still moving. Curse my overactive imagination!

The next stop was announced and relief flooded through me. I let go of the pole and waited, desperate to get off. Still, I had to get to work. Should I get off or shouldn't I? It was just my imagination, right? I wouldn't die because of this. And it wasn't a 100% chance that I'd get shanked, right?

When we pulled up to the stop, I realized too late that I wasn't holding onto the pole any longer. Let me remind you, I hate physics. There is a law in the physics realm, Newton's first law of motion, which states that an object in motion tends to stay in motion. That is exactly what happened to me when I was flung across the subway car, and _exactly _why I discovered a brand new, fiery hate for physics. The guy who hit on me, Leo, tried to catch me, but he was too late. And this, Ladies and Gentleman, is why physics class made me want to either run away or feed my homework to my dog.

I hurtled towards the undercover cop, his shades glinting behind his black hoodie. Prison awaited me, didn't it? A good shanking awaited me, didn't it? I was going to die! _Get a hold of yourself, Lucy! _

"Watch out," shouted Undercover Cop as he reached forward. What was I watching for exactly? I didn't know. My best guess was his lap…because that was what physics had deemed a good target. I braced for impact and squeezed my eyes shut. I heard the door to the car open and close, the little contraptions that worked them squeaking annoyingly. I felt comfortably warm. Heat was surrounding me and calming my spinning mind.

I opened my eyes to see what was warming me up so nicely. I immediately jerked away. My lips still tingled strangely…"I didn't mean to kiss you, I promise," I said, shaking my head slightly. _Ok, you kissed him, Lucy. You're officially a clumsy idiot. Now don't let it go to your head! He might think you're a drug dealer, you idiot! _Ok, so my mental pep-talk wasn't inspiring.

The guy's shades didn't let me see his eyes, but up close I could tell that he was at least a little handsome. He had a sharp jaw that was clean-shaven, slightly yet stylishly messy pink—Pink!—hair, and perfect, model-like lips…which were now curving into a smile. His smile almost blinded me.

Judging by the fact that I was now sitting on this guy's lap in the middle of the subway car, having missed my chance to get off the train, with his arms wrapped around my waist…I'm going to have to guess that he caught me when I fell…or rather when I plummeted towards him. Somehow I'd managed to keep a tight hold on the dog. This was one freakin' lucky dog.

"Mind telling me what you've got under that sweater? I'm a bit curious," he said. He had a pretty sexy voice. I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't like it or that I didn't like how mysterious this guy seemed. I mean, from what I could see he was seriously hot…but I couldn't tell because he was still wearing his shades and hoodie. Oh wait…I almost forgot. This guy's an undercover cop and he just asked me what I was carrying. Prison! Shanking! No!

"Wait! I'm not a drug dealer! I swear! The only thing I smuggle is small dogs! …And sometimes food!"

"Drug dealer? Shouldn't you be more concerned by the fact that the guy you were just talking to tried to steal money from you."

"He did?"

"Yes."

"Eh, don't care. My purse was already stolen along with my dignity."

The guy didn't say anything, just smiled again. "You're a weird one," he said with a smirk. Godammit…stop showing me small yet glorious hints of sexiness, Undercover Cop! It's really starting to get to me!

"Ok, so this is a dog…not drugs," I said, lifting the sweater just enough to let the puppy stick his little head out. It still seemed weird that I was carrying around a dog in the subway without a carrier, so I added , "I'm a vet." …which I wasn't, but it felt like some sort of justification. It was just a little white lie, right?

"Why do you keep talking about drugs? Why are you smuggling a small dog?"

"Um…that's sort of a long story," I replied. The dog suddenly decided that he'd try and go on an adventure, the little bugger. He attempted an escape. I caught him before he could, though. Unfortunately, (or maybe fortunately…depending), for me, that resulted in me pressed up against Mr. Undercover Cop. His chest felt pretty muscly through his hoodie. Promising. Promising.

"Are you aware that you're sitting on a total stranger's lap after having just kissed him and are still acting normal about it? Do you do this a lot?"

"Yeah, I do. I hang around subways and pounce on unsuspecting guys, especially ones with hoodies and shades on…who have pink hair. I've claimed a lot of victims."

His laugh was just as good as I imagined it to be. I smiled, "So, if you don't mind, I'll be going now. I've got to go slink around in the shadows and wait for more naïve, pink-haired guys to become my new targets."

With that I eased off of his lap and carried my dog companion to the doors, which were now sliding open again. My stop. At last.

"Hey, what's your name?" the guy called after me.

I stopped for a moment and turned to look at him, "I don't give my name to random strangers, pink-haired or otherwise." And that was the last I _thought _I'd ever see of him, not even having discovered the staggering hotness of his whole gorgeous face. I was wrong, though. So…so wrong. I unwittingly stumbled into a world that was foreign to me. The moment that knot appeared in my hair, causing me to inevitably end up on that stranger's lap, that crazy world awaited me. The world of a rock star, (AKA Undercover Cop).

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**Next Chapter Preview:**

"Don't even try to fight it, Lucy. It's time," Mira said seriously, her eyes burning mine. The fiery passion that's so terrifying had ignited in her pupils.

"Mira, I can't-"

"Arm wrestling is an art, Lucy. It's high time you learnt it!" Ok, I love Mira and all...she's one of my best friends, I swear...but...I _hate _her dark side. The Pro Wrestling.


	3. Déjà Vu Sucks

_Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked under it._

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**Thoughts: **I'm worrying a little about my DeviantArt and about my summer reading for my AP class…other than that I'm just thinking about pandas.

**Requests: **Ok, so I'm going to stop the creepy way I've been asking for reviews, because quite honestly it even skeeves me out. Anyway, just read it, enjoy it, and review if you'd like! I sure do appreciate 'em. :)

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**Part III: Déjà Vu Sucks**

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_{Déjà vu is the mind's way of telling you that you are in the right place at the right time.}_

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My workplace was a sight for sore eyes. As I'd been walking, I'd somehow managed to develop a blister on my left foot, so I was now limping, bleeding, purse-less, and late for work. Sigh. It was pretty pathetic, actually. Not to mention I still had that dog following me around. The worst part, though, was that somewhere in the dark depths of my mind, I was still thinking about Undercover Cop. I mean…pink hair?

Anyway, I practically dragged my almost-dead body up the steps, (sort of like a zombie with its lower half cut off), and yanked the door open. The little bell that was attached to the door—which occasionally annoyed me, but was still helpful—jingled as I limped inside.

Almost immediately, just as I had expected, Mira caught sight of me. "Lucy!" she whimpered. She vaulted over the counter and barreled into me. I almost lost my balance, but managed to stay upright…somehow. She squeezed the air out of my lungs.

"Mi….ra…" As always, her love was suffocating. I was glad I had the chance to work there, but asphyxiating was pretty much a daily occurrence. It was love-asphyxiation, though…so it was ok.

She let me go and I gasped for air. She looked me up and down and frowned, "You look horrible!"

"Gee, thanks. Tell me what you really think," I said sarcastically. I limped over to one of the waiting chairs and collapsed. A guy with a tiny Pomeranian stared at me. He stroked his dog's tiny head and continued to stare.

"Whatchu lookin' at, Mr…" Crap, I couldn't come up with something to call him, "…Mr. Tiny Dog!" Man…I was tired. That was the best I could come up with? I facepalmed.

"Lucy, let's get you…cleaned up," Mira said. She hauled me to my feet and practically carried me to the back. She immediately started tending to my wounds.

"Miiraaaa," I whined, "Some jerk-off stole my purse!"

Her head snapped up, "What?"

"He stole my dinner!" I repeated, "…and my other stuff."

"Let's focus on getting you patched up and then we'll talk about what happened to you," she said softly. I nodded, glad that Mira was my boss. She was a seriously awesome person. Actually, she was probably the nicest person I'd ever met. Well…most of the time she was. The other times she was straight up crazy.

Once she'd put bandages on my hands and knees, she sat down beside me. "So, tell me," Mira said, staring at me.

I blinked, "Tell you what?"

"What do you think!? Tell me what happened to you!" she exclaimed.

"There was a knot…and a dog, and I tripped and I got robbed, and the sun, and that guy, drugs, and freaking physics! You know how much I hate physics!"

Mira nodded in agreement and then her eyes went wide. She grabbed my arm and squeezed, "A guy?"

"Huh?" I silently wondered how that was the only thing that she chose to mention after everything I'd just said.

"You said 'that guy.' Did you meet someone?" she asked. A creepy smile was spreading across her face. Bad memories were rising to the surface. Ugh…that one guy that she tried setting me up with. A wart on your nose? I thought only Halloween witches had those! Well, at least he hadn't been green. I like to look on the bright side of things.

Anyway, back to the problem at hand: Mira is an over-the-top, crazy, enthusiastic matchmaker. I've always thought that she would fit it perfectly on one of those weird TV shows where cameras stalk potential couples. "What happened!? Tell me!" ...Or she could be a professional police interrogator...

"I don't want to," I said quietly.

"Don't want to?" she asked, giving me puppy dog eyes. Damnit. Mira was good at the puppy dog eyes. I looked away and turned up my nose. I crossed my arms and winced when I accidentally hit my palm-wounds. I feel like Mira could play the good cop _and _the bad cop.

"By 'don't' you meant 'do,' right?" she asked.

"By 'don't' I meant 'don't,'" I stated. When I looked back at her, her eyes were serious. Her face had darkened. Oh no. I'd done it now. It was Mira's way of interrogating me.

"Mira, my hands are wounded!" I cried out. I leapt from my seat and ran around the other side of the counter.

"Don't even try to fight it, Lucy. It's time," Mira said seriously, her eyes burning mine. The fiery passion that's so terrifying had ignited in her pupils.

"Mira, I can't-"

"Arm wrestling is an art, Lucy. It's high time you learnt it!" Ok, I love Mira and all...she's one of my best friends, I swear...but...I _hate _her dark side. The Pro Wrestling. The demon inside her.

Ever since she was small, as she's so proudly told me many a time, she's loved Pro Wrestling. Pro Wrestling honestly scares me, so whenever she starts going on about arm wrestling—and really any form of wrestling at all—I tend to run away at high speeds. There's only one person in this world that can snap her out of her Pro Wrestling craze, and it's only temporary. Unfortunately for me, Laxus wasn't here to take her on at arm wrestling, so I was left out in the cold to resort to desperate measures.

I raised my injured hands, "Wait, Mira. If I tell you, will you not break my arm off?"

She stared at me for a moment as if she were contemplating which option was more important to her. After a few moments of Mira's mental war, she nodded and straightened, "If you really want to tell me that much, I'll listen." She smiled and giggled. I groaned.

I dragged my feet back around the counter and sat down again. Mira sat down, as energetic as ever, and smiled sweetly. "So, who is this guy?"

"I don't know," I said, looking her straight in the eyes.

Mira extended her arm into her trademarked arm wrestling pose and her eyes narrowed to slits, "Then let's do this."

I raised my arms in surrender immediately, "Wait, I really don't know. I never found out his name!"

Mira relaxed, "Oh."

"I met him on the subway after I rescued that dog," I said. I sat up straight, a thought dawning on me.

"Oh yeah, you did mention a dog," Mira said, tapping her chin.

I stood up and bolted across the room. I yanked the door that led outside open and my dog friend rocketed into our presence. He barked and ran around my legs. "It's good that you didn't disappear," I said, reached down and picking him up. I felt sort of bad for leaving him outside this whole time.

I returned to the room where Mira was waiting and she blinked, "Is that your dog?"

"No, he just followed me," I replied. I sat down and he curled up on my lap.

"You stole someone's dog?" Mira asked. She didn't sound accusatory, just interested.

"I didn't steal him!" I insisted, "I just…rode on the subway with him."

"The subway…"

"Yup."

"The subway!" Mira shouted.

I jumped, "The subway!"

Mira pointed at me, "Don't try to change the subject! What about the guy on the subway!?"

"I wasn't! I promise," I said. Crap. I shouldn't have mentioned the subway.

"So, you met this guy on the subway. That's really cute. It's just like a romance story!"

"Yeah…except for not," I said, a vivid flashback of me landing on the guy's lap replayed behind my eyes, "Unless it's a really weird romance story."

"Huh?"

"Um…I sort of…kissed him?"

"You…kissed him. But…you don't know his name?"

"I kissed him, but I don't know his name."

"You kissed him!?" Mira shouted. She was really excited.

"He had pink hair," I pointed out.

"Pink?" Mira started, but then caught herself before she allowed a partial change of subjects again, "You kissed him!?"

"I didn't mean to!"

"What, did he force you or something? Oh my god, Lucy are you ok? You really _did _have a tough morning!"

"Force me!? What? No!"

"Oh honey," she said, putting her hand on mine, "You don't need to keep it inside."

I grabbed Mira's face and forced her to look at me, "Calm down, Mira. He didn't…force me. I fell onto his lap because I wasn't holding onto anything when the subway stopped. I accidentally kissed him."

"Accidentally?"

"Accidentally."

"Oh. Ok."

"That's all you're going to say."

"No! So did you like it? Was he hot? What color are his eyes? Is his hair really pink? What was he doing on the subway? Did you talk? Did you flirt? Did you get his number? Did he get yours? Did he ask what your name was? Do you like him!?"

I think she was pretty close to hyperventilating. "Easy, Mira. Calm down now," I said.

She took a deep breath, "I can't. It's just, after all the guys you've met, you've never once fallen in love." She put a hand on my shoulder, "You deserve love, Luce. It's amazing. I want you to feel the way I do with Laxus..."

I smiled. She'd broken through my protective barrier, "I guess I liked it. From what I could see he was hot. I don't know what color his eyes are because he was wearing shades. His hair _is _really pink…his whole head. I don't know what he was doing…I mean, other than stopping supposed drug deals in my imagination. We sort of talked. I'm not really sure if you could call that flirting. He called me 'a weird one.' We didn't exchange number. He asked my name, but I didn't tell him. I don't _like _him. I just met him! How would I immediately like him like that?"

Mira took in all the new information. When she was finished, she just smiled, "I believe in fate, Lucy. Maybe it was meant to be…you landing on him, and the accidental kiss. It doesn't happen immediately, you know. People don't just fall in love at the snap of their fingers. It takes time and effort. Anyone who says otherwise is dumb."

I laughed, "That's harsh."

She stood up and pointed at me, "But it's true!"

"I guess," I said.

"And, Lucy…remember that you deserve it. If you put in a little effort, you might find it."

"Find what?" I asked.

"Your love, Luce. Come on. Put yourself out there. You're not living!" she said. I stood up and sighed.

I walked out of the room and sat down in the rolling chair behind the counter, the place where I took appointments and payments and the like. I was like the file lady and occasionally I helped with check-ups and operations. I spun around to look at Mira, "Yeah, well I don't think I'll be finding that love again. We just met on the subway. I'll never see him again."

Mira's eyes flicked away and then returned to me, "Was he wearing black shades, a black hoodie, tight, yet sexy jeans, and a gold chain around his neck?"

I blinked, "How did you…" The blood drained from my face. I rocked from my chair and hid myself away behind the counter. I was definitely not being seen by him. I acted so _weird _on the subway. There was no way I was returning to the sunlight with him still within 800 yards of me.

"Yeah, he just walked in," Mira hissed, looking down at me awkwardly.

"Play it cool!" I ordered.

"Play what cool!? I don't know what you're talki-" She looked up, "Heelllllloooo there…Sir.. Mister…Guy." She saluted him. I slapped my palm to my forehead. _Real cool, Mira. Reaaaal cool._

"Um," said Undercover Cop awkwardly. Goddamit, it was him. His voice was just as sexy as I remembered…and he'd just said one thing. One thing! I was going crazy.

Mira cleared her throat awkwardly, "So…can I help you?" God, she didn't know how to do the desk job at all. This wasn't going to end well.

"Who's the attending veterinarian here?" he asked. _Huh? Why is he asking about that? Wait, why is he even here!? What in the h?_

Mira raised her hand happily, "That'd be me!"

He sounded disappointed when he next spoke, "Oh, alright, then."

"I'm sorry?" Mira asked. I wanted to jump up and punch the dude. Was Mira not good enough for him? Psh. _Psssshhhhh._

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. It's just…I'm looking for someone," he said, "She's a vet. She got off the subway, and the only place she could possibly work, one that was close enough, was here."

"Oh," Mira said. She kicked me several times and I whapped her leg. Subtle, Mira. Real subtle.

My heart was doing a little dance and my brain was suffering through the pain of trying to figure out why Undercover Cop had come here. It was a stark contrast.

"Who're you looking for? I might…be able to tell you where she works. I mean, we veterinarians are a very close-knit circle. We're tight," Mira said, nodding her head. _What? Tight?_

"I…don't know her name," he replied.

Mira blinked, a smile spreading. _No, Mira! Don't let him know! I don't need love if it comes with embarrassment and humiliation! Don't reveal my location!_

"What…does she look like?" Mira asked. _No, Mira! _I grabbed her leg and pinched her hard. She made a squeaking sound and jumped.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine. It's just…" Mira paused for a long time, "A cat. A _scaredy _cat." Mira glanced down at me and I glared up at her. _A scaredy cat!? What the—_

"A cat?" the guy asked curiously and skeptically.

"Oh! She ran away. You really don't have to look," Mira said. He must have tried to look over the counter. Whew. That was close. Nice, Mira. I still don't forgive you, though.

"Um, ok."

"So, what does she look like?" Mira asked. I gave up on trying to get her to shut up with pinches alone. "This..._vet_, you say..." She looked down at me and I flushed. Crap. I had told that guy I was a vet. I thought I'd never seen him again! Screw it. I lied. I felt bad.

"She has blond hair," he said. Mira waited for a moment and then realized that he wasn't going to say anything more.

"_And? _There are quite a few vets with blond hair," she pried.

He sighed, "Really beautiful blond hair. It's even more beautiful when the light hits it. She's got a great smile and beautiful brown eyes. They reminded me of chocolate. She's funny, but a little weird. She's the kind of person that is different from the rest. Special." I clenched my hands into fists. That was embarrassing, and yet he didn't seem embarrassed at all saying it. Still, it felt good getting a compliment. I couldn't help but notice the light feeling in my chest.

"Wow," Mira sighed. She was staring forward dreamily.

"Oh, and she saved a dog," he said.

"A dog?" Mira asked. I sighed. This wasn't going anywhere. It was about time to get out of here. I stealthy crawled to the edge of the counter.

"Yeah. He was white, and he had a little orange spot." Just as I reached the end of the counter, my rescue dog bolted past my face. I reached for him, but he dodged me.

"Wait!" I hissed. He ran around the edge of the counter and I punched the ground in frustration.

"It was right on his left eye, just like that…dog. Hey, wait…" he said.

"Uh oh," Mira said.

_Alright, Lucy. Just grab the dog before he realizes it's the same one from earlier. He doesn't even have to see your face. Just in and out. Just get the dog, and get out. Just like that. It's easy. Of course, if he sees your face it's shanking all over again. Wait! No! Stop! No shanking for me today! Alright, just one. Two. Three!_

I leapt out from behind the counter and grabbed the dog. I stared at the ground and covered my face with my hair so that he wouldn't recognize me. I _thought _that it was clever. I didn't anticipate that, in my haste, I would twist my ankle and lurch forward. Holding a dog isn't good for balance. I'm just saying, if you _ever _have to cross a tight rope at a traveling circus, don't do it while holding a squirming dog. I mean, unless it's part of your act. That could be an awesome; especially if the dog was wearing a matching sparkly outfit. Write it down. It has potential.

Oh, right! I shouldn't be talking about circuses right now. I need to tell you what happened next. So, I'm falling through mid air. My ankle is already throbbing. My dog buddy is freaking out because he thinks I'm about to drop him. Mira is squealing. Undercover Cop is reaching for me, ready to catch me yet again. As I fell, I was struck by an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. I was falling towards this guy yet again, while clinging to this same dog. Both in one day. There was nothing I could do to stop it, though. It's that stupid law again. An object in motion tends to stay in motion. You can't beat physics, no matter how hard you try. Freaking inertia, man.

I slammed into him, knocking him off balance. We tumbled to the ground and I landed directly on top of him. He managed to avoid slamming his head against the ground, but the sudden movement had knocked his glasses off of his face. His hood fell away too.

Let me tell you, my friend…he was an Adonis. I don't mean that he was good looking. I don't mean that he was hot. I mean he was an Adonis; like, supernova sort of attractive. His gorgeousness was enough to make you want to avert your eyes while simultaneously forcing you to stare at him. And that's just what I did. I stared at him. At his styled pink hair. At his sculpted nose. At his defined jaw and cheek bones. At his smoky, fiery eyes that seemed to pin me in place. At his slightly damp lips that were curling into a slight smirk.

I found myself gravitating towards him. I couldn't even help it. I mean, I was in a lot of pain and my mind was muddled. I was tired even thought it was only morning. I mean, it wasn't like he was a _complete_ stranger. Well, he pretty much was. I'm just trying to find excuses. I could blame it on gravity. I could claim that I just succumbed to the universal force or something. That was stupid, though. The only thing I succumbed to was his insanely beautiful face.

I found myself kissing him. Again. My déjà vu was still going at this point. It was a little different this time, though. Familiar, but new at the same time. His lips felt the same, but this time they sent tingles through my entire body and caused my entire face to heat up. I immediately stopped myself when I realized how crazy I was acting. But I've always been crazy. I guess that hadn't changed.

"So I didn't mean to kiss you that time either," I said outright. I felt the same, tingly feeling on my lips that I had last time.

"You fall a lot, don't you?" he asked with a smile. I shielded my eyes from his shining gorgeousness.

"Now that I think about it, I guess I do," I said, coming to that realization.

"So, any luck finding another victim?" he asked.

I sighed, "No luck. It's surprising, too. I normally snag at least four on my way to work alone."

He laughed and his rock hard stomach muscles tensed beneath me. That's when I realized that I was still on top of him. I nodded, "I'll be seeing you, then."

I sat up and attempted to get away, but he grabbed me and pulled me back. "Hey!" I protested.

"I was looking for you," he said.

"Right…because my eyes remind you of chocolate," I said. I couldn't hide my amused smile. I gasped when he blushed. It was adorable and attractive at the same time.

"You don't recognize me?" he asked.

"The guy from the subway," I said, pointing at him, "Yeah, I remember you."

"That's not what I meant. I mean…you don't recognize my face?" he asked, confused. He was nowhere near as confused as I was.

"Why would I recognize you?" I asked.

I looked up at Mira and so did Undercover Cop. Mira's eyes went wide and she pointed at us. Well, she actually pointed at _him_, but I didn't know that at the time. "Na…Na…" she stuttered.

"Mira, are you ok?" I asked.

"Dragn-" she began, "Fai…T-T-Ta…" With that, her eyes rolled back in her head and she disappeared behind the counter. I'd never seen Mira faint before. It was a sight to behold, but I was too busy freaking out.

"Mira!" I shouted, alarmed, "Wait, Mira! I'm coming for you! CPR! Do you need a brown paper bag! People do that right!? Is that a thing!?" I looked around frantically and saw the guy who I'd un-creatively called Mr. Tiny Dog earlier, "Call an ambulance!"

The dude whipped out his cell phone and tapped the screen vigorously. His dog yapped and bit his pants, hanging there like a cell phone charm…except…for pants.

Before I knew it, he pointed his phone and me, at _us_, and snapped a picture. The flash nearly blinded me, and I raised my hand to defend my delicate retinas from it. With that he ran out the door, his dog still dangling from his pant leg and growling in a less than threatening manner.

"Hey, Mr. Tiny Dog! Come back here!" I shouted.

"Oh, crap," Undercover Cop said.

I turned to him, "Huh?"

"He took a picture of us," the guy said.

"So?" I asked.

"My name is Natsu Dragneel," he said, looking at me as if he were about to tell me he had cancer or something morbid like that, "I'm…a rock star."

"WHAT!?"

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**Next chapter preview:**

So I've had a stalker before. One. It wasn't pretty, but I lived. The last thing I expected was to wake up one morning and realize that…surprise, surprise…I had _b__illions of stalkers!_

The media scares me almost as much as the idea of being shanked in a prison. Merry Christmas, Lucy, (even though...it wasn't Christmas), the whole world is stalking you! Hoorah!


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